Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
