Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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