how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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