Nicole vs. Life
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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