you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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