i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
