We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So. Much. Porn.
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