If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
