He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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