using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
