We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
