i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
