Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The uberlube is also flammable
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
