She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
