Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I looked at my own cervix.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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