My balls are so social today.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize