try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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