I will die if light touches me.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
