I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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