so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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