Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
