Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
