think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
