11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
