A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
