I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
my liver is dry heaving
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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