My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
