my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
