so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
