I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
