Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
