While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Houston, we have a squirter
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
