:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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