Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
