It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
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Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Panties = found
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