remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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