And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
