maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize