Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
