just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
