nut hugger
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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