I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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