i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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