your parents love me but you hate me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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