I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize