So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
