Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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