dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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