she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
