Buhtt sex?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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