I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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