Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize