We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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