I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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