More tranny stories later!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
