let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
