Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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