he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
