so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
