I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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