i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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