can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
