I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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