hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
